Missing you!

It has been two and a half long months since you went away, and there hasn't been a day that has passed that I wish I could pick up the phone to hear your voice. I can't seem to pull things together, and try my hardest to hide my pain and tears behind smiles and laughter. I have never felt so alone in this world as I do now. What I wouldn't give to hear your voice, and to hug you again. To hear you tell me that you love me. I never got to say goodbye because you passed before I could get there. I would give anything to have you just one more day. There are so many things left unsaid, and damn so many things we should be doing. I am so confused in life right now, and wish you were here to help figure things out. I don't know which way to go or even which is right or wrong without you.

I know you and dad are together again but I so wish y'all were here with us again. The family needs y'all so much because y'all were the string that held us together. We are trying but things will never be the same without you here. My days just simply pass by anymore without any meaning to them, and I don't have any idea how to change that. I simply exist! My heart feels like I deserve the pain I am feeling because I must have done something wrong to have lost you both so young.

The hardest thing I had to do was to tell Lexie that you had passed away. My heart shattered as I felt her body tremble, shake and fall when the pain hit her. That baby loved you, and I know you loved her so very much. I promise that I will always look after that baby, and never let her forget how much you loved her. I just so wish that she were home when it all happened so that I could have comforted her through it but as you know things are still messed up there.

Mom, you may be gone but know that you and dad will never be forgotten and missed. There isn't a day that goes by that you aren't on my mind, in my memories or within my heart. I love and miss you both so very much. I pray that someday we will all be back together as a happy family again but in the meantime me and Charlotte are doing all we can to keep this family together. I love and miss you so much!

Love your daughter,